The idiom ‘beside oneself’ is a common expression in the English language used to describe a state of extreme emotion, often overwhelming or uncontrollable feelings. It is frequently heard in everyday conversations, literature, and media to convey intense reactions such as anger, grief, excitement, or distress. Understanding the meaning and usage of this idiom can enhance one’s grasp of English expressions, making communication richer and more expressive. In this topic, we will explore the meaning of ‘beside oneself,’ its origin, various contexts where it is used, and examples to help you use it correctly and confidently.
What Does ‘Beside Oneself’ Mean?
The phrase ‘beside oneself’ means to be in an emotional state so strong that it seems like a person is outside of their normal self, almost overwhelmed by their feelings. When someone says they are ‘beside themselves,’ they are expressing that their emotions have taken over to the point that they are not fully in control or acting like their usual self.
Common Emotions Associated with ‘Beside Oneself’
- Anger: A person may be ‘beside themselves with anger’ when extremely upset or furious.
- Grief: Someone might be ‘beside themselves with grief’ after a significant loss.
- Excitement: Intense happiness or excitement can also cause someone to be ‘beside themselves.’
- Worry or Anxiety: Extreme worry or nervousness might leave a person ‘beside themselves.’
Origin and Historical Usage
The idiom ‘beside oneself’ dates back to at least the 16th century. It originally referred to the idea of being ‘beside’ or ‘next to’ one’s normal self, as if the person’s emotions have moved them outside their usual identity or state of mind. In older English literature, this phrase often described characters overwhelmed by passion, madness, or intense feeling, which made them act irrationally or emotionally.
Over time, the phrase evolved to become a figurative way to express being emotionally overwhelmed, and it remains widely used in modern English for this purpose.
How ‘Beside Oneself’ Differs from Similar Expressions
While there are many idioms to express strong emotions, ‘beside oneself’ specifically highlights the intensity of feeling to the point of feeling disconnected from one’s normal state. For example:
- Over the moonmeans very happy but doesn’t suggest losing control.
- At one’s wit’s endmeans completely frustrated or confused but doesn’t necessarily imply the emotional upheaval of being ‘beside oneself.’
- Out of sortsmeans feeling a little off or unwell, less intense than ‘beside oneself.’
Usage in Sentences
Using ‘beside oneself’ correctly requires pairing it with the emotion that is overwhelming the person. Here are some examples:
- After hearing the bad news, she wasbeside herself with griefand couldn’t stop crying.
- He wasbeside himself with angerwhen he found out someone had scratched his car.
- The children werebeside themselves with excitementbefore the big holiday.
- When her dog went missing, she wasbeside herself with worry.
Notice how the phrase is often followed by ‘with’ plus the specific emotion causing the overwhelming feeling. This structure helps clarify the kind of emotional intensity being described.
Can You Use ‘Beside Oneself’ Without Specifying an Emotion?
Sometimes, people use ‘beside oneself’ alone without mentioning the specific emotion, especially if the context is clear. For example:
- He wasbeside himselfafter the accident.
- She’s beenbeside herselfall day.
In these cases, the listener or reader usually understands from context whether the feeling is anger, sadness, or another intense emotion.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Despite its popularity, ‘beside oneself’ is sometimes misunderstood or misused. Here are some tips to avoid errors:
- Do not confuse with ‘besides oneself’: ‘Besides’ means ‘in addition to,’ which is different from ‘beside’ meaning ‘next to’ or ‘outside.’ The correct idiom isbeside oneself.
- Avoid mixing with ‘beside the point’: These are different idioms with separate meanings.
- Include the emotional context: Though not mandatory, adding the emotion clarifies the meaning and strengthens the expression.
Why Use ‘Beside Oneself’ in Communication?
Idioms like ‘beside oneself’ enrich language by expressing complex emotional states vividly and concisely. Using this idiom in writing or speech can convey strong feelings in a relatable way. It is especially useful in storytelling, emotional conversations, and descriptive writing.
For English learners, mastering idioms such as ‘beside oneself’ helps sound more natural and fluent. It also aids in better understanding native speakers and cultural nuances.
Examples from Literature and Media
The idiom has appeared in countless books, movies, and news reports to emphasize emotional extremes. For instance:
- In a novel, a character might be described as ‘beside herself with worry’ to highlight her frantic concern over a loved one.
- News reports might say someone was ‘beside himself with rage’ after an injustice, illustrating their intense anger.
- Movies often use this phrase to dramatize characters’ reactions in pivotal scenes.
Summary
The idiom ‘beside oneself’ is a powerful phrase to describe overwhelming emotional states. It suggests that a person’s feelings are so intense that they seem to be outside their usual self. Commonly paired with emotions such as anger, grief, excitement, or worry, this idiom helps paint a vivid picture of emotional overwhelm. Knowing how to use ‘beside oneself’ correctly can improve both spoken and written English, making communication more effective and expressive.
Remember to use ‘beside’ (not ‘besides’), include the specific emotion if possible, and consider the context to ensure clarity. With practice, you can confidently use ‘beside oneself’ to articulate moments of strong feeling in daily conversation, literature, or professional writing.